To Love and Back
by imaginethatmel
Summary: Bella thought she could never love again after what happened to Edward. She decided that her son, Zach, was the only man in her life, but Fate had other plans. To Love and Back is a tale of love, loss, and the importance of listening to your heart. :
1. Chapter 1

_Boom_; the phone thudded to the floor and I could hear the sobs echoing in the receiver. Blood pounded in my ears and I felt my entire world caving in. I couldn't compute what I had just heard…I couldn't comprehend what she meant. Dead? He couldn't be dead. Just this morning I had talked with him, told him I loved him and to come home to me soon. He promised. He promised he'd be careful, for me and our baby, our unborn child who would no longer have a father.

An unexpected attack? I thought it was their job to prepare for this kind of thing. He promised he'd come home. I had finally found peace with his being gone in the war. I thought he wouldn't be in danger anymore. He was where there was peace; he was helping to rebuild the country; that damned country that killed him.

What was I supposed to do now? How could I go on with my life without him; this baby inside of me now a constant reminder of the life we were going to have together; the fairytale now a living nightmare. We were engaged to be married, ready to make so many memories together. How could I raise a child on my own? How could I support us and make a life for us without my rock, my partner, my life?

The despair closed in around me, wrapping me in a blanket of sorrow and hate. Hate at the world for taking him away from me, for ending his life when it was just starting. My breathing became labored, coming out in gasps, until I couldn't even function. The world around me became fuzzy and I couldn't think straight. Then it went black. Black as night and all I could think was _he's dead_.

_Seven years later_

"Come on, baby, we're not going to be late your first day at your new school! Don't you want to meet your teacher and get settled in early?" I asked my six year old son as he came stomping down the stairs, dragging his backpack behind him that was nearly as big as he was. He slumped into the kitchen chair dejectedly and turned his bright blue eyes toward me.

"Mommy, I don't want to go. I don't know anyone there and I don't think they're gonna like me much. Can't I just stay with you?" he asked quietly as his eyes filled with tears. I quickly knelt beside him and took his face in both my hands and kissed his forehead.

"Zachy, you listen to me. Those kids are going to love you just as much as I do. You're going to make so many new friends that you can play with and you're gonna learn so much. I promise, baby," I said as I pulled him close.

He sniffed hard and pulled away. "So what's for breakfast?" he asked brightly as he looked around the kitchen, trying to see what I had made for him.

I laughed loudly at his typical six year old attitude of moving on so quickly. I knew he was still worried, but at the moment, his stomach was his main priority.

"Well," I said theatrically as I swept my arm across the counter with grace that would put Vauna White to shame and showed my baby boy the treats that I had prepared for him. "I've got cinnamon rolls, pancakes, chorizo eggs, milk, and bacon all ready for my sweet boy, and do you know why I went all out today?"

"Because it's my day!" he said as he pumped his little fists in the air excitedly.

"That's right, baby. Today is all about you." I scooped some of everything onto a plate and watched him shovel it down his throat as fast as he could. It wasn't very fast, of course, because he was using a Simba fork and a Spiderman sippy cup. I smiled to myself as I reveled in how much I loved him.

As soon as he finished his breakfast and brushed his teeth, we hopped in the car and made his way to the school. Of course, there was some tears before we got there, but all in all, he was a good boy and I was able to leave without a problem. As I was driving away, I could see him on the playground playing ball with another little girl. My Zachy, the charmer, how young they start.

A whole flood of memories assailed me at that moment as I recalled how his dad had charmed me so many years ago. Since his death, I had never dated again or even thought of other men. Somehow, it always seemed like I was cheating, on both him and Zachary. As far as I was concerned, Zach was the only man in my life and that's how it was going to stay.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for all those reading this :) I hope you enjoy this chapter…**

**Disclaimer: I'm not SM and therefore, don't own any of the original characters.**

Chapter 2

When I first met Edward, I was about 18 years old. At that time in my life, I was living with my dad in this little town called Forks. I actually loved it there; it rained often but it was still somehow so cheerful. Everyone knew everyone and no one flew under the radar. Of course, I wasn't close to all the kids my age but I at least knew their background and probably where they lived. No, I wasn't a stalker; the same could be said about pretty much everyone that lived there.

Forks High was the only local high school and basically the main part of town. It held almost 2,000 kids respectively and had some of the coolest teachers. I really did enjoy my education there. I wasn't popular by any means, but people knew me and liked me. I was part of the AP kid crowd so I was known as smart, but I was cool with it. I had my group of friends and I fit well with them.

Edward and his family moved to town my junior year so I didn't really know too much about him. He and his siblings quickly became adopted by the more popular crew and weren't in my social circle. What I did know about him was that he was gorgeous, smart, and apparently a genuinely nice guy. I didn't actually meet him until the middle of senior year when I was working at the local bookstore/coffee shop.

It was early December and I was stocking the book shelves with the latest shipment. The store was pretty much empty and I was working alone that particular day. I had my cup of coffee right on hand and the classical jazz was playing in the background. This was the type of day that I loved; quiet and serene. It was just me and my books. I loved unloading the new shipments because it allowed me to browse almost all the books and decide what was going on the Bella Booklist; it was a long list, I can tell you that. I was busy putting a particularly large load of books on the shelf when the chime over the door signaled that someone had come in. Turning around to greet the customer, I saw no other than Edward Cullen come walking in the door, looking oh so sexy in his snug winter clothes.

"Hi, welcome to the Novel Hovel. How are you doing today?" I managed to sputter, as he came closer with a warm smile on his face.

"I'm fine thanks," he said as he picked up a book off the shelf. "It feels so good in here! It's absolutely freezing outside. I think you have the right idea of holing up in here," he said enthusiastically with a chuckle. I smiled at him and reveled in his laugh, musical and velvety.

"Yeah, it's definitely a nice hide away in here. Can I help you find anything?"

"Nah, I'm good for right now. I'm just gonna browse. I'll let you know if I need anything" he said as he put the book back on the shelf and shuffled over to another aisle.

I immediately got back to work, concentrating on putting the books where they were supposed to go…well, I at least was _trying_ to concentrate on putting them back when in reality, my entire being was so focused on that boy a couple aisles over which, in turn, caused me to restack the books multiple times.

Glancing over to where he was, I saw that he was holding my all time favorite classic _The Odyssey_ and I couldn't help but smile as I remembered my first time reading it.

I walked over to where he was, careful not to trip on the many piles of books surrounding me. As I opened my mouth to comment on his book choice, I realized that he was beating me to the punch.

"I'm supposed to be writing a report on a book of my choice for my semester project. What do you know about this book?" he asked as he turned to me, on his face beautiful, inquisitive smile.

I laughed as I said, "What don't I know about that book? It happens to be a favorite of mine. It's a Greek epic poem imparting the life journey of Odysseus, the hero, who is trying to find his way home to Ithaca. On his way, he comes across basically all the Greek clichés. What I really love about it is how he doesn't allow his tragic flaw, his pride, to come in the way of his home and the woman he loves. And all throughout the book, spanning about 10 years after the Trojan War, it alternates between him and his wife Penelope who doesn't ever give up hope that he'll come home. It really is a fabulous read; I would definitely recommend it." I looked at him and found him smiling oddly at me.

Oh crap. I realized I just went all Book Master on him and probably gave him enough information for an essay. That or I probably was talking a bit too fast for him to pick up on all of it.

"Sorry," I said with a short, embarrassed laugh, "Do you have a pen because that could have been your report right there." He laughed loudly and dropped the book down to his side, hanging in his left hand.

"Nah, it's alright. I may just have to appoint your help when it does come time to write it, though. I'm Edward, by the way," he said with an easy smile on his face and offered his right hand for a shake. I took his hand in mine, surprised at the warmth emitting from it considering the cold weather.

"Bella."

That day, we sat in the store for hours, talking about anything and everything, from books to family and college plans to childhood memories. I'm pretty sure he learned everything about me that day, more than my friends had ever found out. I felt like I knew him and he knew me. The friendship that grew between us was strong and lasting. Though we formed a special bond that day in the store, there was no way I could have ever imagined what exactly our relationship would evolve into; a love to last a lifetime, or so I thought.

After picking up Zach from his first day of school, we drove over to his Gramma's house, his light chatter filling the car and warming my heart. It was crazy how much I loved that little man. He was my everything and I couldn't imagine how I would have gotten through Edward's death without him.

As we pulled up to the house, I was struck with emotion. This was the first time in over a year that I was seeing them again. I wasn't sure how I would respond this time, though I knew it wouldn't be as bad as the times before. The resemblance that Edward and his father shared was striking and the pain would always hit me full on when visiting them.

I gently woke Zach up from his nap, no doubt exhausted from his exciting day and informed him that we had arrived.

"I get to see Gramma and Grampa now?" he asked as his face lit up with excitement, the last trace of his nap quickly disappearing.

"That's right, baby. There inside waiting for us."

I barely got the words out before he was out of the car, bounding up the steps, and throwing himself into the waiting arms of Esme on the porch. I could hear his shouts of joy and Esme's laugh from the car as I gathered Zach's things and shoved them into my purse. Making my way up the familiar steps, I was shaken by the memories that weighed down upon my mind but not so much as last time. _Ok, I can do this,_ I thought to myself.

"Bella, my dear! Come and give me a hug this instant," Esme shouted as I came up on the porch. She enveloped me in a huge hug and ushered me inside where Zach was already climbing all over Carlisle. The openness and airiness of the house instantly calmed me and I smiled at the obvious display of affection between the two boys.

"He's growing so fast, Bella. I just can't believe that he's already 6," I heard Esme whisper to my right. I turned to her and noticed tears in her eyes. Those eyes, so much like Edward's, and I felt myself closing in again. I took a deep, ragged breath and looked straight at her, fighting the urge to cry myself.

"I know what you mean. It seems like he's growing an inch a day. It's so hard to keep up with his constant energy." She laughed and looked back to where Carlisle and Zach were playing. Carlisle looked up and, seeing me standing in the doorway, beamed at me as he made his way over and pulled me into a giant hug.

"Bella! It's been so long. You look more and more beautiful each time I see you," he exclaimed as he pulled away to look at me. I laughed off his comment, blushing a deep red at the same time.

"It's good to see you too, Carlisle. I'm sorry it's been such a long time."

"We completely understand, dear. Don't you worry about a thing. Now, dinner should be ready any minute so why don't we gather in the living room and catch up a bit," Esme suggested as she made her way over to the familiar couches where Zach had already made himself comfortable.

"I want to hear all about the job, Bella. I hear that you're now writing for the newspaper on the side, in addition to practically running that publishing company," Carlisle recounted as he settled in next to Zach. I chuckled at his description of my position at Barnes and Lee Inc., the publishing company I worked for.

"I actually did. With Zach starting school, it's the perfect time to pick up some extra work and money. I'm able to work from home which is ideal and I'm only writing one or two articles a week. They're mainly editorials on the latest news so I get to do all the fun interviews and put my spin on the topic. I love it, though. It's finally my chance to get my opinions out there, you know? And as for the publishing company, I'm still in the same position for our branch here so that's nothing new." I turned to my son and saw that he was getting a little fidgety with all the adult talk so I turned the topic to him.

"Zachy had his first day of school today, didn't you baby. Why don't you tell Gramma and Grampa all about it?" I suggested and at once, he perked up and began to recount all the day's events.

Shortly after we arrived, the doorbell rang. Since Zach was still talking to Carlisle and Esme, I got up and went to open the door. The first thing that registered was that there was a very large group of familiar people standing on the porch and the second was that it was my family.

"BELLA!!!"

**AN: alright guys, next chapter is Bella's reunion with the gang. And for those that questioned, this story is actually all human…for the moment. I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going with it but I'm not entirely sure so you'll just have to keep reading. Make sure to review and leave your feedback, I'd love some comments, suggestions, anything :)**


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